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It Was Bad Back Then Too

It was bad back then too: payphones, coins and a whole afternoon in the bank line

Before anyone says "things were better in my day", let's look at the facts. They weren't.

By Nico Ferraz · Published · 2 min read

IN MYDAYFAILEDNC-5756 · 2/5

Every week somebody comments on our videos: "back in your day things worked". My friend, I was there. They didn't. They worked more slowly, which gave the impression that someone was looking after them.

Arthur asked me to write this because, according to him, I have "emotional memory without quality control". He'll edit it. I'm telling you now that I disagree with his edits.

The payphone

To call home you needed three things: coins, a working payphone and faith. The coins were never the right ones. The working payphone was always two blocks past the first one you found, which had no receiver. And faith was necessary because the payphone ate your coins without connecting the call, and there was nobody to complain to. No customer service. Just the wind.

I spent years doing late-night radio. Do you know how many listeners called from payphones to request a song and got cut off halfway through? I have a mental collection of "Nico, play that one by…" click. To this day I don't know which one.

The bank line

Paying a bill was a commitment. You blocked off the afternoon. You brought a newspaper, a sandwich and sometimes a folding stool. Arthur timed it. His worst record, logged in the notebook, was three hours and eleven minutes to pay an electric bill that, by the time he reached the teller, was overdue.

The bank closed at four. If you got there at one minute past four, the revolving door locked with you inside it, like a metaphor.

The form in triplicate

Everything had a form. The form came in triplicate. The third copy, the pink one, nobody knew what it was for, but it was the only one they ever asked for later.

So is today better?

No. Today is bad in a different way. Today the payphone is an app that demands an update the moment you need it, and the bank line is a chatbot that replies "I didn't understand, could you rephrase?".

The difference is that back then we suffered standing up, and today we suffer sitting down, staring at our phones. It's an ergonomic improvement. Arthur approved it. With reservations.

About the author

Nico Ferraz

Hosted "Nico After Midnight" on AM radio for 30 years. He doesn't want to fix the world; he wants to know who signed off on it. Owns a dog named Manager so he can always ask to speak to the Manager.

Fictional character from The Fed Up Buddies universe.

More nonconformities

Letters to Management

A letter to the management of the yogurt lid

Dear management: the yogurt lid tore into three pieces, none of them useful, and I ended up eating the product with my fingertip. Please find my formal complaint below.

Arthur Bastos ·